Say · Do · Reward Life Design Framework™

Design the life
you keep promising
yourself.

Christy Pruitt-Haynes, SPHR · TEDx Speaker · Brain-Based Coach · Author

"The only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with is you — so you better fall in love with that person."
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The Question That Changes Everything

Are you actually living the life you keep saying you want?

Not almost. Not working toward it someday. Right now, today, with the calendar you have and the choices you are making and the way you are treating yourself when no one is watching.

The gap is not a knowledge problem. It is an alignment problem. And alignment is fixable.

As seen in
Forbes Harvard Business Review CNN Business Fast Company Business Insider
Nike · Mastercard · Starbucks · Capital One · Deloitte · Dollar General · Vanderbilt
Christy Pruitt-Haynes
Meet Christy Pruitt-Haynes

Before we go any further —
you should know who I am.

I am a certified Brain-Based Coach, TEDx speaker, and author with more than 25 years of studying what makes human beings thrive — what drives behavior, what creates change, and what keeps people stuck even when they desperately want to move. That understanding started in the workplace. But it was always really about people.

My coaching is grounded in the neuroscience of behavior change. I know why people say one thing and do another. I know why most self-improvement efforts stall out. And I know exactly what it takes to close the gap — because I spent years applying these principles to other people's lives before I finally applied them to my own. That reckoning changed everything.

I am a member of American MENSA, a published author, and a regular contributor to Forbes, Harvard Business Review, CNN Business, Fast Company, and Business Insider. I am also a person who has been exactly where you might be right now — accomplished on the outside, misaligned on the inside, and finally ready to do something about it. That is not a credential. That is the reason I believe this works.

✦ Brain-Based Coaching (NLI)
✦ TEDx Speaker
✦ Member, American MENSA
✦ Published Author
✦ Forbes · HBR · CNN Business
✦ SPHR Certified
You might be in the right place

Does any of this sound familiar?

✦

You are successful by everyone else's definition — and quietly unfulfilled by your own.

✦

You say you want to make changes — and you have been saying it for two years without moving.

✦

You are doing everything for everyone else and cannot remember the last time you did something just for you.

✦

You are going through a major transition — empty nest, divorce, career change, loss — and you do not know who you are on the other side of it.

✦

You are working hard, doing the right things — and still feel like you are running on empty with nothing to show for it internally.

→

If you recognized yourself in even one of those — you are exactly who this framework was built for.

Take the free assessment →
The Alignment Gap

You already know the type of life you want to live.

"The gap is not a knowledge problem. It is an alignment problem."

Here is what I have learned in 25 years of helping the most complex organizations in the world close the gap between what they say and what they actually do. The same misalignment that costs companies their best talent costs people their most important years.


The framework that transforms organizations works on the most important organization you will ever run: your life.

The Hard Truth

Most people have never clearly declared who they are becoming. Not what they think they should want. Not what looks good. What is genuinely, on their own terms, true.

That is where the gap lives. And that is exactly where this framework begins.


The Good News

The same framework that has produced double-digit improvements in retention and engagement across Fortune 500 companies works on the most important organization you will ever run.

I have lived it myself. And it works.

"For most of my life, I was everyone's everything — except my own."

I structured my life around every role I carried and forgot that I was a person outside of all of them. The SAY-DO-REWARD gap showed up in my life just as clearly as it does in the boardrooms I walk into. The difference was — I had the tools to fix it.

25 years of studying what makes people thrive — applied to the one person I had been neglecting most. Myself.

My Story

Here is where I
come from.

For most of my life I was going through the motions — doing the things I was told I was supposed to do instead of the things that brought me joy. I had structured my entire existence around being a mother, an aunt, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, an employee, a business owner. Around being everything to everyone. I was Christy in name only.

Then about five years ago my life turned upside down! I lost my best friend Marcus to suicide. I went through a divorce. My daughter moved eight hours away. My niece moved four hours away. The people who had given my roles their meaning were gone or far away. And I sat in my house and confronted the question I had spent decades avoiding.

"Who am I? Not who am I to other people. Not what do I do for people. Who am I, on my own terms, right now?"

I had no answer. So I turned the same three questions I ask Fortune 500 companies on myself. What did I say I wanted my life to look like? What was I actually doing? And what was I acknowledging and reinforcing in myself? The misalignment I found looked exactly like what I find in boardrooms — and it changed everything.

Who I Am Today

And here is where
I am now.

This is what the other side of that work looks like. I am genuinely, deeply, not-for-the-Instagram happy. Not the version of happy that means nothing is hard. The version that means I am living in alignment with who I actually said I wanted to become.

I lost 100 pounds. I built a second career as a bourbon and cigar educator and now regularly speak on podcasts and stages around the world. I started dating again. And I fell in love with me — in a way I never had before.

I still run my organizational consulting practice doing work I love. And I built something completely new alongside it. The Say-Do-Reward work was born directly from me choosing to design the life I truly wanted instead of the one I had defaulted into.

I do not tell you this to impress you. I tell you this because the framework works. And I am the proof.
What People Say About Working With Christy

The work speaks
for itself.

"

I think of Christy as an on-call, expert problem untangler. Each and every time, Christy dove in, deeply listened to all parties, and then provided wise, practical, action-oriented advice to move things forward. I'm so grateful to have Christy in my corner, both as a coach for me as an individual and as a trusted advisor for our company.

Courtney Seiter Head of People, Buffer
"

Christy sparked excitement and helped the audience to see a new vision. We all walked away with goals to move the needle for ourselves and our organization. I highly recommend Christy for any speaking and training events.

Veronica Terrell Senior Engagement Manager, Deloitte

"Christy has a unique talent to glean from the resources available. If you are expecting a transformation that will lead to miracles, she is your choice." — Terrance Yarborough, State of Mississippi

The Framework

Say · Do · Reward

Three questions. The most important ones you will ever ask yourself.

SAY

Your Declaration

Most people have never clearly declared who they are becoming. Not what they think they should want, not what looks good — what is genuinely, on their own terms, true. That is your SAY. And it is where everything starts.

DO

Your Evidence

Look at your calendar from last week. Look at your bank statement. What do those documents say about your priorities? That is your DO — not what you intended to do, but what the record actually shows. Most people find a gap. It is closeable.

REWARD

Your Reinforcement

This is the one nobody talks about. Behavior that is acknowledged and reinforced repeats. Behavior that is ignored fades — even the right behavior. Are you noticing your progress? Most people have never built a REWARD practice. That changes here.

You cannot think your way to a new identity. You have to DO your way there — and REWARD every step that reflects who you said you were becoming.

Free · 10 Minutes · Immediate Results

Take the Free
Life Design Assessment

Find out exactly where your SAY, DO, and REWARD stand right now. Complete all 25 questions and see your personalized gap analysis immediately — no email required to see your results.

SAY Score

How clearly you have declared who you are becoming

DO Score

How well your daily actions reflect that declaration

REWARD Score

How effectively you reinforce your own progress

Gap Zone

Which of the four zones you are in and your next move

Your results appear immediately after you complete the assessment. No email required to see them. This assessment is private and your responses are never shared.

It will tell you more about where you actually are than most conversations you will have this year.

25 questions across SAY, DO, and REWARD — plus a gap audit that shows you exactly where your most important work is.

"The gap is not a knowledge problem. You already know what you want. It is an alignment problem."

— Christy Pruitt-Haynes, SPHR

Say-Do-Reward™ Life Design Assessment

Let's find out where
your gap actually lives.

This assessment measures all three dimensions of the Say-Do-Reward Framework. Be honest — the value depends entirely on your candor.

SAY — Your Declarations DO — Your Actions REWARD — Your Reinforcement

* Required. Your results appear immediately. We will also email you a copy of your results.

Dimension 01 — SAY

Your Declarations

SAY is about what you claim to want, who you say you are, and whether your stated intentions are specific and authentic. Rate each statement honestly — there are no right answers, only true ones.

Clarity of Intention

S1

I have a clear, specific picture of who I want to become — not a vague wish, but a declaration I could describe to someone else.

S2

The things I say I value are genuinely mine — not things I think I should want based on what others expect of me.

S3

When I describe the life I want, I can be specific — not just "be happy," but what that actually looks and feels like on a Tuesday.

Integrity and Authenticity

S4

I know who I am outside of my roles — I could describe myself to someone without mentioning my job, my relationships, or what I do for others.

S5

There is no "someday" list I have been carrying for more than two years — things I say matter that I have never actually moved toward.

Reflection — Optional but Encouraged

What is one thing you have been saying you want for a long time — that you have not moved toward? What has stopped you?

There are no wrong answers. The more honest, the more useful.

Dimension 02 — DO

Your Actions

DO is the evidence — not what you intend to do, but what you actually do. Your calendar, your habits, your choices tell the real story of what you are building.

Behavioral Evidence

D1

If I looked at my calendar from last week, the majority of my time would reflect what I say I want my life to look like.

D2

I regularly do things just for myself — experiences or activities with no agenda other than my own discovery and enjoyment.

D3

I have taken at least one concrete step in the last 30 days toward something I say I want — not thinking about it, but actually doing something.

Intentionality

D4

Most of what fills my time is chosen intentionally — not just habit, obligation, or the path of least resistance.

D5

I regularly try new experiences — I am actively learning who I am through what I do, not just through thinking about it.

Reflection — Optional but Encouraged

Look at your calendar from last week. What did you actually spend time on? Does it reflect who you say you want to become?

Dimension 03 — REWARD

Your Reinforcement

REWARD is the most overlooked dimension and the reason most personal growth efforts fail. It is the practice of noticing, naming, and acknowledging your own progress — especially small progress — in real time.

Recognition and Acknowledgment

R1

When I make progress toward something I said I wanted, I actually notice it — I do not just move immediately to the next thing.

R2

I acknowledge small behaviors and efforts — not just big outcomes. I do not require a finished goal to recognize progress.

R3

I have a consistent way of marking my own progress — a journal, a ritual, telling someone, or simply pausing to say "I did that, and it matters."

Reinforcement Quality

R4

I do not consistently reward myself with things that contradict my SAY — numbing instead of resting, avoiding instead of processing.

R5

I speak to myself about my progress the way I would speak to someone I love — with genuine acknowledgment, not constant self-criticism.

Reflection — This Is the REWARD Practice

What is one thing you did in the last week that reflects who you said you want to become — that you have not yet acknowledged? Acknowledge it now.

This is the REWARD practice. It starts right here, right now.

Final Section

Your Alignment Audit

These final questions identify which of the four gap zones you are living in and where your most important work is right now.

G1

My SAY and DO are mostly in sync — the life I am living generally reflects what I say I want.

G2

I do meaningful work toward my SAY, but I rarely pause to acknowledge it — I am active but running on empty.

G3

My SAY is clear, but my DO does not match it — I know what I want but I am not consistently taking action that reflects it.

G4

What I tend to reward in myself after a hard day — how I unwind, what I run to — does not actually support the life I said I want.

G5

If someone who cared about me observed my life objectively — my time, my choices, my self-talk — they would say I am treating myself like a priority.

Final Reflection

If you could close one gap — in your SAY, your DO, or your REWARD — in the next 90 days, which would create the most meaningful change? Why?

Say-Do-Reward™ Life Design Assessment

Your Results

0% Alignment

SAY

—

Clarity of intention

DO

—

Alignment of action

REWARD

—

Strength of reinforcement

Your Gap Zone Analysis

Your Personalized Next Steps

    Ready to close the gap?

    Your results show exactly where to focus. The Say-Do-Reward programs give you the framework, the guidance, and the community to turn this assessment into real change.

    Explore Programs →

    Christy Pruitt-Haynes, SPHR · TEDx Speaker · saydoreward.com

    Ways to Work With Me

    Find your entry point.

    I designed these offerings to meet you wherever you are and take you exactly as far as you are ready to go. Start where you are. Go as far as you want.

    $47 – $97 · Early Bird to VIP

    The Transforming Forward Workshop

    Walk in unclear. Walk out with more direction than you have felt in years.

    We run your life through the full Say-Do-Reward framework together, live in the room. You leave with more clarity about who you are and what you actually want than you have had in years. Real work gets done here — this is not a lecture.

    Early Bird $47 · General Admission $67 · VIP $97 which includes a signed Transforming Forward journal, solo date starter kit, and front row seating.

    Most people describe this as the most clarifying half-day they have spent on themselves in years.
    Join the Waitlist
    $597 or 2 payments of $310

    The 90-Day Alignment Sprint

    12 weeks of guided work that produces a life design you can actually execute. New cohort forming now.

    A 12-week live group coaching program where I guide you through the complete Say-Do-Reward Framework week by week. Live weekly sessions, a private community, weekly DO challenges, and your complete SAY declaration and REWARD practice built in week one.

    People in this program consistently say the 90-day plan alone is worth the investment. Having me walk them through it live is what makes it stick.
    Learn More
    $2,497 · Payment plans available

    The Life Design Intensive Retreat

    Two days that produce the clarity most people spend years searching for. Limited to 20.

    Before you arrive, we get on a call so I understand exactly where you are. Over two days I guide you through every dimension of the framework — identity work, values work, integrity audit, REWARD practice design — and you leave with your complete 90-day alignment plan in hand. Limited to 20 participants.

    Spots are limited to 20 participants and this retreat sells out. If you are considering it, apply before the next date fills. The combination of deep individual work and a small group doing it alongside you creates something genuinely hard to replicate anywhere else.
    Apply Now
    $5,000 or 3 payments of $1,750

    The Private Alignment Partnership

    Three months of 1:1 work that produces a life you designed on purpose. Only 4 clients at a time.

    The full framework built entirely around your life, your specific gaps, your history, and where you are trying to go. We meet regularly, you have access to me between sessions, and everything we do is designed for your life — not a template. You walk away with a complete life design, a clear identity declaration, and a 90-day plan you can return to every quarter.

    "The most important investment I have made in myself." — private coaching client
    I take 4 to 6 clients at a time. Join the waitlist for the next opening.
    Join the Waitlist

    The Transforming Forward Journal

    The Say-Do-Reward Framework is the system. Transforming Forward is the practice. The official DO toolkit for the framework — built around intentional solo dating: deliberate, self-directed experiences that generate the self-knowledge you cannot access by thinking alone.

    This is the right place to start if you want to begin immediately, on your own terms, before committing to a program. Includes the ABC Solo Date Challenge: 26 unique experiences, one year to discover who you actually are outside of every role you carry.

    Get the Journal

    $24.99

    Ships directly to you

    Common Questions

    Everything you are
    wondering about.

    Is this for me if I am not in crisis — just feeling stuck?
    Yes. Most of the people I work with are not in crisis. They are competent, accomplished, and quietly unfulfilled. They are doing everything right by everyone else's definition and wondering why it does not feel like enough. That is exactly who this framework is designed for.
    How is this different from therapy?
    Therapy is essential for many people, and I am not a therapist. This is a structured alignment framework — practical, forward-looking, and action-oriented. Many of my clients are in therapy and in this program at the same time because they serve completely different purposes. Therapy often helps you understand your past. This helps you design your future.
    Do I need to read the journal before I join a program?
    No. The journal and the programs are designed to work independently or together. If you start with a program, you will receive the journal as part of your experience.
    What if I cannot make a live session?
    All live sessions in the 90-Day Alignment Sprint are recorded and available for replay within 24 hours. The retreat and private coaching are scheduled directly around your availability.
    What is your refund policy?
    The live workshop ticket is refundable up to 14 days before the event. The 90-Day Sprint and private coaching have a satisfaction guarantee — if you complete the first session and feel the program is not right for you, I will refund your investment in full. The retreat deposit is non-refundable but fully transferable to a future date.
    Do you work with men as well as women?
    Yes. The framework works for anyone who wants to close the gap between the life they are living and the life they keep saying they want. The programs are designed to be inclusive of all people at any stage of life.
    Is this connected to organizational consulting?
    The Say-Do-Reward framework is the same framework I use with Fortune 500 companies — adapted for individual life design. If you are looking for organizational consulting, culture transformation, or executive coaching for your company, that work lives at www.ChristyPruitt-Haynes.com.
    Book Christy

    Bring the Say-Do-Reward Framework to your stage, summit, or team.

    Christy is a TEDx speaker and organizational consultant who speaks at conferences, leadership summits, ERG events, and corporate programs on the Say-Do-Reward Framework — for individuals and organizations alike. Fees from $7,500.

    Inquire About Speaking

    "Christy is an engaging, entertaining and effective speaker. Not only did she take the time to understand the culture of our organization, she dug deeper to ensure her talks spoke to our core values and goals. She was a pleasure to work with and I would welcome the chance to do so again."

    — Bethany Mason, Director of Employment Branding and Inclusion, Dollar General

    Featured In

    Forbes · Harvard Business Review · CNN Business · Fast Company · Business Insider

    The gap will not close
    on its own.

    You already know what you want. You know something is misaligned. The question is whether you are going to do something about it. Start with the free assessment — 10 minutes, no email required, results immediately.

    Take the Free Assessment Join the Workshop Waitlist
    Are you a leader looking to use the Say-Do-Reward Framework inside your organization? That work lives at ChristyPruitt-Haynes.com.